Miaow There! Read online

  Some time later Sheila, or maybe Petra, shook me awake and they said their “goodbyes” and “see you laters”, and we strolled on again. Suddenly there was a shout and I looked up and saw Sheila’s friend Michael - or Mr Pumpkin as I like to call him - waving to us from the opposite side of the grass. There was so much grass that to me it looked like a park! He was with quite a large group of people and he seemed to be teaching them some kind of game where they were throwing soft bean bags at two boards each with a hole in it. Rather like the cats’ game of toss a snail into a bird’s nest. We crossed the grass and Sheila asked him what the game was called as she had never seen it before. “Baggo” he replied, “Come and have a go!” “No” she smiled, “we’ll just watch for a bit. I don’t want to make a fool of myself!” She sat down on one of the wicker chairs, and released my lead so I could I curl up on the lovely grass. Mmmm, it felt good! Suddenly Sheila sat up and once more I heard her saying that she couldn’t believe it, how are you etc. Must be somebody else she knows I thought and looked up to see a very nice looking young man with the biggest smile I’d seen yet approaching us. They exchanged hugs and then he leant down and said “Hi Misty, you’re pretty, I’ve heard all about you!” (Oh it’s so nice to be popular isn’t it?!) Sheila told me afterwards that his name was Dev and he ran one of the cocks’ tails bars on board and that she’d known him now for several years. Well they were certainly talking like old friends, but he was working so couldn’t stop for too long. “Campari?” he said laughing. “Naturally!” she replied, so when he passed by a few minutes later he brought her a glass. Revolting smelling stuff I’ve always thought, but she likes it and, indeed, told me once that as she sails so often on this ship, whenever she arrives at a bar where somebody she knows is serving, a Campari is always miraculously awaiting her! Well, with me, whenever I approach my dinner bowl at home, there’s always my favourite food ready for me in it too. Just proof of the excellent service and attention I get at home, and that she gets on the ship! That’s the life, eh!

  Sheila had her eyes half closed in the bright sun, so I took the opportunity to move further out on to the grass where I could see some people playing some sort of game where they were rolling large black balls towards a little white ball. That looks fun I thought, and crept a bit nearer. A couple of people, also lounging in nearby wicker chairs, spoke to me and got out their little speaking/picture making machines and took some photos. I was beginning to feel like a real celebrity now, like Truffles, so I preened myself and let them pat me, favouring them with one of my best purrs! But the little white ball was proving very tempting, so I quickly nipped across to where it was now surrounded by six of the black balls and with a quick flick of my paw, knocked it away... much to the surprise of the people playing the game who didn’t look as happy (I don’t know why!) as the people watching! But a few seconds later as the spectators dissolved into hoots of your hyena like laughter, even the players joined suit. Everyone seemed in hysterics! Well, I didn’t care... this was fun! I patted the little white ball to and fro several times across the grass but finally reluctantly returned, plus ball, back to Sheila who had now roused herself and was calling for me in not too happy a tone! Come on dear, it’s only a game... don’t be a spoilsport! “Misty” she said, “You’ve thoroughly embarrassed me! Naughty girl... give me the ball!” OK, OK keep your fur on, I mumbled to myself, and rolled the ball to her feet. She returned it to the people on the grass .. “I’m so sorry” she said, “your game has been ruined.” “Don’t worry” one of the players replied, “It’s been a sight for sore eyes, we certainly didn’t expect to find a cat on board nicking our ball!” And once more they all fell about laughing. Anyway, nobody seemed too upset, so I don’t know why Sheila was getting so worked up about it all - take a chill pill dear! Anyway, after she had apologised yet again, she picked me up and returned to her seat. My lead was firmly attached and I sat by her feet once more, feeling a sulk coming on. She had spoiled my fun. Why? Nobody else had seemed to mind. The people next door introduced themselves as June and Roger and said they had enjoyed the whole episode and then, whilst I continued with my sulk, they all started chatting away and I heard them arrange to meet up with Sheila later before dinner in the Martini Bar. What’s a Martini Bar I wondered vaguely, but then sleep overcame me once more!

  I was awakened by Sheila gently tugging at my collar. “Come on” she said, “we’re going back now. We’ll pass the Hot Glass Show on the way, Misty, but I’ve seen it before - it’s fascinating but nothing you would understand! Anyway,” she went on, “I can’t stop as it’s nearly time for my afternoon canapés!” I wondered what a hot glass show was and what on earth canapés were, hopefully perhaps something to eat? We strolled back along the deck again, though I was sorry to leave the grass. At the hot glass show there were some passengers sitting on rows of benches all intently watching two or three people who were blowing down long tubes - what a strange thing to do I thought! On the end of each tube was a coloured blob of something that looked sticky, and as I watched the blobs seemed to continually change shape! Curious. Well, they say curiosity killed the cat don’t they, but in this case as the people who were holding these shimmering blobs kept dipping them into a rather hot and frightening fire, it was all slightly unnerving, so I didn’t mind that Sheila didn’t stop!

  Back in the stateroom, Sheila had only just sat down and poured herself a glass of bubbly when there was a knock at the door and there was another smiley faced young man who gave Sheila a covered plate. She placed it on the low table and I could immediately smell something fishy! Mmmm... if these were the mysterious canapés, they sounded just up my alley! (and readers, no I’ve never been an alley cat myself!) I stood up on my hind legs and patted at the edge of the table, looking expectantly up at her with my best wistful expression. This always works! “Yes, yes” she smiled, “I suppose I havn’t got any chance of having the prawns all to myself have I?” No dear, you havn’t! Lid removed, there were four huge prawns plus some other interesting looking things. Well, I got two of the prawns in the end and something else which also tasted nice but I didn’t know what it was! So, contented once more, I washed my whiskers and retired for another catnap. Sheila switched on the picture machine...

  Some time later I awoke to the sound of flushing water coming from the non bathroom and a while after Sheila appeared dressed in another evening outfit. “I’m going to order your dinner now Misty” she said reaching for the speaking gadget by the bed. I was still coming around from my cosy sleep but heard clearly enough the magic words salmon and chicken. Mmmm, can’t be bad I thought. I felt a purr of anticipation coming on. After reaching into the very small cupboard above the larger cupboard and retrieving some sparkling bits and pieces which she placed on her wrists and fingers, Sheila sat down on the sofa and I perched beside her on my cushion. We sat there for a few minutes, she idly stroking me and me counting down the seconds until my dinner arrived! When it did, brought in by yet another smiley faced young man, it was definitely worth waiting for folks! First some quite mouth watering rolls of smoked salmon garnished with yummy prawns and then chicken pieces in tasty gravy sauce. I don’t think I have ever cleared my bowls so fast before! Sheila laughed, “If that’s what they will be serving you this trip, Misty, you will go home a proper little porker!” And you, dear, will go home the size of a baby elephant I thought! After a comforting burp - yes I guess I DID eat it too fast - following all that lovely food, a quick visit to the litter igloo was in order before I settled down in my bed for a nice after dinner sleep. Sheila sighed and quickly tidied up after me, grumbling that why did I have to go just as she was ready to leave and not earlier - but these things can’t be planned just for HER convenience, can they? “I’m off now Misty” she called over her shoulder as she went to the door, “I’m meeting June and Roger for a drink in the Martini Bar and then going for my own dinner. Be good while I’m gone!” As if I wouldn’t be!!

  I was intendi
ng to have a nice sleep but somehow I couldn’t nod off - too many new experiences had happened to me today, things I never could have imagined, and I just couldn’t get my head round them.

  Suddenly I heard someone come in and it was Pedro. “Ello Mistee” he smiled and patted me, “Ere you are, I have a nice squeed for you tonight!” A rather delicious smelling fishy item dropped by my side. I had never heard of a ‘squeed’ before but it certainly tasted good! I switched on my purr at its loudest volume and idly watched as Pedro carried out his excellent duties turning down Sheila’s bed and placing her chocolate on the pillow, and this time he made what looked like one of those big white birds out of the fluffy rag, sorry towel, he took from the non bathroom. I made a mental note to have a gentle scratch on it later (on its underside) so that Sheila wouldn’t notice!

  When he had finished, he came and sat down beside me and said “You must be very good girl Mistee because my boss he comes here soon to inspect things. It is all to do with ‘elf and safety and specially because YOU are here.” Well, of course I know I am pretty special but I wondered what exactly I had to do with an elf? I think they are something like our Cornish piskies at home. Also I had never met another boss before... it’s ME who is the boss in our house! Anyway, I was soon to find out who Pedro’s boss was because only a few minutes later another important looking man entered, wearing a smart dark blue jacket with gold stripes on the sleeves.

  Pedro jumped up and told his boss that everything was all in order. The boss smiled and bent down towards me. “Hello” he said, “You’re pretty, what’s your name? My name is Tom and I am the Hotel Director on this ship.” “This is Mistee” said Pedro. Tom patted me and if I could have spoken human I would have told him that I am the House Director of Sheila’s home in Cornwall! So I gave him a brief purr and then retreated to my bed. Tom and Pedro went all round the stateroom and balcony and Tom noted that my litter igloo, with sack of litter and pack of disposal bags beside it, was neatly placed in the corner of the balcony and because, as I think I’ve mentioned before, both Sheila and I are extremely fussy, everything was totally - as Pedro said - in order. Sheila said once that hygiene was a very important feature of this ship, and one of the reasons she keeps cruising on it is because how spotless and gleaming everything is. At any rate, Tom seemed very pleased with his inspection and a relieved Pedro smiled like a Cheshire cat as he was given top marks. “Well, I’ve never seen a cat on here before, it’s a first for me! So long Misty” smiled Tom as he left the stateroom. What a funny expression I thought, I don’t think I am particularly ‘long’. Yet another of your strange human sayings I suppose! “Adios Mistee” said Pedro and he also left the stateroom. After my promised scratch on the towelling bird, I sank back in bed and this time sleep did overcome me!

  I awoke later as Sheila returned. She was smiling. “Well Misty, I’ve had a good time this evening... a drink with June and Roger in the Martini Bar, and then after dinner I went to the Champagne Bar with a nice guy on my table called Richard. He is extremely knowledgeable - sorry Misty, to you that means he is clever - about ships and simply everything to do with cruising and so we had a very interesting conversation.” (Ah, “knowledgeable” another new word to add to my store of your human words!) “I don’t want the evening to end yet,” she continued, “ so I think we’ll go to the casino!” What on earth is a ‘casino’ I wondered. I watched as she opened the little cupboard again and took out three twenty dollar money notes, and then she picked out one of my glittery evening collars, slipped it on me, clipped on the wretched lead and off we went. Casino, here we come!

  After the usual stroll to the elevator, we fell downwards - this time to Deck Four according to the unseen lady. Would I ever see her in the flesh? Walking past the shops we entered a large area full of people, with lots of musical noises and human chatter going on. It was quite loud and somewhat scary to a little cat like me, though I wasn’t going to show it, so I kept close to Sheila’s ankles. A good many of them were sitting round tables playing with cards or little round discs, but even more were sitting in front of noisy machines which rattled and bleeped continuously and at odd times made even louder bleeps which seemed to make the person playing with them shout or wave their arms about excitedly. Just what was all this? It was like a reunion of the Cornish Cats United Club at Christmas!

  After weaving up and down several lines of these machines, Sheila at last stopped at one. “Ah, this was lucky for me last time” she muttered. The man playing on the machine next door gave a double take on seeing me, but I was used to that now! “I heard there was someone with a cat on board” he said, “ well, let’s hope she brings us some luck!” They both laughed and Sheila pulled out a tall seat and sat down hooking my lead to its leg. “Come on now, Misty, yes, bring me luck!” she chuckled, let’s give it a go, though I expect it’ll need feeding up for a couple of days before it’ll pay out much!” I idly wondered what she was going to feed the machine with, I hadn’t noticed her bringing any bits of salmon with her! Then I saw her put two of the twenty dollar money notes into it! Aaah, so these machines eat your money do they? Now I come to think of it, I vaguely remember that last time she returned from the ship she said something about how she had been very lucky in the casino and come out with enough money to pay off her ship’s bill, but that the time before the machines had just eaten all her money right up! Seems a bit risky to me chancing your money; still at least if she loses it she won’t be able to get too many more teddy bears! I can never get my head around you humans and money... you always seem to be wanting it, and then when you get it you give it away to all those tempting shops and, now I realised, also to these strange places called casinos!

  I looked around me, but all I could see were people’s backs - and bums - sitting on the seats facing the line of machines behind us. Everyone was in a good mood, you could feel it... this was obviously a happy place on the ship, despite the fact that you might lose all your money! I settled down to watch to see how Sheila got on! She started pressing a button on the front of the machine, and then kept repeating it. Each time she pressed the button, little pictures that were dotted all over the machine’s face spun round and round. That looked fun! I pawed at Sheila’s knee. “Oh come on then, you can sit on my knee if you want” she said and hoisted me up. I watched intently, sometimes three pictures that looked the same would arrive in a line together and the machine played happy music and at other times no pictures matched and I would hear Sheila sighing. Suddenly the machine made a louder sound and all the pictures started madly to roll around. A voice said what sounded like “fifteen free spins” and different music started to play. Sheila sat back and the little pictures then went totally mad spinning non stop. I pawed the machine’s face but I couldn’t catch one! The man sitting beside Sheila laughed. “Come on puss, bring your mum some luck!” “I wish!” replied Sheila. At the end of the fifteen spins, from Sheila’s expression I gathered that she hadn’t exactly made her fortune, but then she said she’d made a bit of profit so that was it, enough for now, she’d cash it in and keep it for the next evening. “Very sensible” nodded her neighbour, as she pressed another button and a slip of paper emerged. “Come on Misty, time for a nightcap coffee” said Sheila and that was my introduction to the casino.

  During the cruise we went in there most nights - Sheila seemed to win a bit and lose a bit but I can report that at the end of the cruise she did go home a winner with an extra ten of those twenty dollar money notes over what she started with, so she was well pleased! We then took ourselves to the frothy coffee lounge, where Violetta served Sheila with her favourite café latte and Amoretto bedtime drink. Yuk! Then back to our comfortable stateroom again. What was to come next I mewsed as I sat on the litter igloo. After checking that Sheila had cleaned and refreshed it, I sank into bed and watched as she sank into hers... fortunately she didn’t remark on the bird... and so we both slept!

  The next day

 
The next morning the sun had put his hat on for us... it was bright and lovely. I could feel that we were not moving so when Sheila was messing about in the non bathroom, I wandered outside onto the balcony and looked through the glass wall. Yes, we had stopped and far below I could see people, looking the size of ants from right up here, scurrying about beside the ship. Several long motor machines were waiting and I could see lines of people getting into them. I wondered where they were off to. I could see other ships too, some with people getting off them like ours, and some that seemed to be piled high with big boxes, and those tall metal monsters with chains and hooks - like I had seen at Southampton - seemed very busy! I could also see across the water a big statue that looked like a lady human with a fish’s tail! Strange! I was peering at this when along came a group of the big white sea birds and sat on her head! I wished one of them would sit on mine...