All at Sea with Truffles Read online

  Sheila opened my drawer and brought out my poshest collar and lead, made of golden coloured leather trimmed with diamanté. It tones beautifully with my tabby colouring. I remembered she’d brought it back from another cruise holiday. It seems there is a large chain of stores with big pet departments in some of the places where she gets off ships, and over the years she has brought me back lots of stuff - little packets of treats to eat that she cannot get me in Cornwall and some very snazzy neckwear, not to mention bedding and toys. She opened the little cupboard where she’d put her valuables and took out some of the money she had brought. So far I’d not seen her use any on the ship. I wonder why she wants it now, at this time of night?

  Showing off the bling!

  We walked the route to the elevators again and got in one, this time going downwards. When we got out I saw that we were on the floor under the coloured glass bridge, and we carried on past yet more places where people were drinking and enjoying themselves. Music was playing and there was a very happy atmosphere, I thought. Everyone looked very smart - nothing like as casual as they had been earlier in the day outside. The ladies were mostly in brightly coloured outer coverings with sparkly decorations on their arms and around their necks. They were tottering about on paw covers with those ridiculous high heels. I noticed that Sheila had removed hers when she’d got back to the stateroom and had replaced them with a lower- heeled pair. The men were dressed rather like those birds called penguins, I thought, generally in black and white. At one place we passed, people were dancing to some very lively foreign- sounding music that was being played by a group of four men wearing big straw hats, and Sheila explained to me that this was a Salsa Bar.

  Eventually we arrived at an entrance with a sign ‘CASINO’ over it, leading to a huge room, which to me seemed crammed full of machines making jangling and clinking sounds and there were lots of people sitting either at these machines or else at tables where smartly dressed crew members - also looking rather like penguins - were entertaining groups of six or so people, all very intent on whatever game it was they were playing. I didn’t want any long explanations from Sheila; I knew it would all be far too complicated for me to take in. Luckily, she didn’t show any signs of telling me anything! Talking of luck, I was still wondering why she thought she’d need any. Perhaps I’d soon find out! Funnily enough, almost immediately a tall and impressive-looking crew member, who seemed to be in charge of the casino, said to Sheila, “Oh, you’ve brought your lucky cat with you have you?! They both laughed. “Well, I hope so!” she responded.

  She led me up and down the lines of machines. She seemed to be looking for one in particular. “Oh, yes,” she muttered, “this is the one. This is my lucky machine from the last trip. Let’s see if it’s going to be kind to me again. I bet it won’t be tonight though! I reckon, at least for a few days, it’ll need to be fed a few dollars first.” Fed? Surely these machines don’t need feeding? She sat down on a stool in front of the machine and pushed one of her money notes into a slot in the machine’s chest. Ah, that’s how they eat! Immediately the machine made a fast “ding-ding-ding- ding-ding” noise and Sheila settled herself on her seat and put all her concentration into whatever the machine was doing next. It was making dinging and clinking noises and flashing lights and little pictures of fruit and bars were coming up on the front of its chest. I quickly lost interest. Each to his own, and this wasn’t to mine!

  After about half an hour I was feeling half deafened by all the noise around the place, with the countless machines dinging, pinging and, from time to time, sending out bursts of loud music. I got up and stretched. “Yes, okay Truffles,” said Sheila, “I’m moving now. I’m not going to win anything tonight, but at least I’ve got my stake back and can use that to play tomorrow.” She pressed a button on the machine and a slip of paper came out of its chest slot. Steak? Funny-looking steak - all thin and white; nothing like the brown grilled bits of the stuff I’d eaten earlier! Things on here were getting weirder and weirder, I decided.

  We made our way out of the casino and instead of taking the elevator we went up one lot of stairs and arrived at a very nice coffee and seating area - not the one we’d passed by in the big promenade yesterday. This looked more classy. “I always like this place. I wonder if they’ll let you sit under my chair if I just have a quick drink here,” said Sheila. “I can but ask! It’s not a major eating area and there are only a few people in here at this time of night.” We went up to the counter, she explained about me to the person in charge, and we got permission! She sat down and I tucked myself away behind her legs. A tall glass of her frothy favourite was put in front of her and it had a rather strange extra aroma coming from it. I sniffed. Yuk! “Amoretto,” she said. “You wouldn’t like it, but I love an Amoretto coffee as my nightcap!” You can keep it, I thought, and I retired back behind her legs again. I dozed... listening with half an ear to the odd comments coming from people passing by like: “Is that a real cat”, “I know I’ve had a bit to drink but I’ve never seen cats before, only flying pigs,” etc. I’d heard it all before!

  Finally we left the coffee place and caught the elevator back to our deck. Once ‘home’ again, Sheila hung a notice outside the stateroom door, locked it, took off all her finery and changed into her night attire whilst I paid a last visit to the litter box. “Well, we’ve had a nice day, haven’t we Truffles?” she said. “Tomorrow is another sea day and then we will be arriving at Gibraltar, which is a place rather like England but with better weather! It’ll be the only place where I’ll take you off the ship, as I’m not sure that you’d like the hustle and bustle of France, Spain, Italy and Portugal. It would be a bit frightening for you, I think. But I know Gibraltar and it will be much more peaceful and you will be okay with it there.” I didn’t know what she was talking about - all these strange places - but I took her word for it. As I said earlier, as a considerate cat carer, she would never take me anywhere she felt I wouldn’t feel safe to be in. “But when I go and visit the other places, don’t worry,” she continued, “as I won’t be leaving you alone all day. I’ll only get off for the morning and will be back for a late lunch. What’s the point of paying for lunch ashore, anyway, when you can have it on the ship for free?” With that, we both retired to our respective beds. I relived the events of the day in my mind before I dropped off to sleep, and I expect she did, too.

  Second sea day

  We awoke to bright sunshine again, and as I went outside I could feel the much hotter sun on my fur. Yes, we did seem to be getting into warmer climes. What a treat! We don’t seem to have had any really hot weather in Cornwall for the past two or three summers, except for the odd couple of days or so here and there. Certainly Sheila hasn’t sat out in the garden as much as she did in previous years. I heard a knock at the door and a voice saying, “Room service,” and the smiley food steward came staggering in with a large tray on which there were several plates and bowls. “Balcony, madam?” he said. “Yes, please,” said Sheila.

  After he’d gone, she said, “Come on, Truffles, breakfast time. I thought I’d have it here with you today. Wait until I’ve had my starter and then you can have yours.” She helped herself to some of that sickly fruit and y… yo… yog… creamy stuff she likes. I waited impatiently for her to uncover the larger plates, as I could smell the tempting aroma of bacon, sausages and other good things. Everything comes to he who waits... eventually... and I was rewarded for my patience with a good helping of chopped bacon, sausage and egg, which she decanted into my bowl. “Don’t expect this every breakfast time,” she said. “It’s just a one-off!” I was too busy gobbling it up to listen. When we’d finished, she sat there sipping her frothy drink - how many gallons of the stuff must she have drunk in her life? I wondered. Enough to sink the ship, I should think! We must have sat there for nearly an hour before another knock at the stateroom door heralded Eduardo’s morning visit. “Oh, Eduardo, we’ll be off in few minutes,” she
said, “sorry!” “It’s quite all right, madam,” he replied, “I’ll come back later.” Bother, I thought, I won’t be here when he comes back, so I’ll miss my extra morning treat! Still, I couldn’t grumble, could I? Not after that rather splendid bacon breakfast! After checking that my litter box was cleaned and empty and the stateroom tidy, Sheila gave me a quick brush, clipped on my nautical collar and lead and off we went. “I’m going to meet up with those people I met yesterday,” she said, “to have a game of croquet, and you can have a nice nap on the grass up there in the sun.” Good, I thought, nothing would suit me better! Up we went in the elevator again and I peered out through the glass, still wondering how living trees could be suspended in mid-air. I was beginning to think this was a magic ship! The unseen lady announced that we were on Deck 15 and out we got and walked towards the grassy area. When seeing it for the first time yesterday, I hadn’t realised just how large it was. Several people were playing games on it, and others were sitting on it with little baskets by their sides containing various cheeses (I love cheese!) and bottles of those red and white liquids you love to drink. It was a peaceful scene, full of happy people. No wonder cruises are so popular, I thought.

  Comfy-looking wicker chairs were set out in a row alongside the grass and Sheila spotted Connie and Ron sitting there, with a spare chair next to them. They exchanged greetings and I was patted. We sat down, watching some other people who were playing the ball and hoop game. “They’ll be finishing soon,” said Ron, “so then it’ll be our turn. They’ve challenged us all to a match later on, so we’ll show them how it’s done!” They all laughed. I had a few doubts myself, as I knew that Sheila hadn’t played for over five years and she probably couldn’t even remember the rules. I hoped she wouldn’t let the side down, but I wasn’t holding my breath! They continued their small talk while I sat and gazed around, until it was their turn to play. Sheila hooked my lead to a chair leg and they all walked onto the grass and started to select their wooden mallets and coloured balls. I felt a bit miffed at being tied up. I felt she didn’t trust me! Fair enough, I pulled a few strokes in my youth, but nowadays I’m a model of good behaviour - well, apart from the towel incidents! Maybe she did it because she thought I would rush off to climb the mountain again! I wouldn’t have, though, because I felt peacefully lazy and content in the warmth here and sleep wasn’t going to be far away! I took a few paces onto the lovely grass and lay down lux… luxu… luxuria… feeling quite at home on it.

  I soon fell into a doze whilst keeping half an eye open to watch them. I could hear the pleasant clunking sound of wood against wood as the three of them played, and occasionally, when someone got the ball through the hoop, they would give a small cheer. At other times, when they had a near miss, I heard the odd ‘blue’ word that you humans use when you’re frustrated or angry - words that well brought-up pussycats like myself would certainly not dream of saying! After about half an hour they finished and more people came on to play. Sheila released my lead and they stood chatting for a few more minutes before the other two went on their way and we went ours. “I’ll be meeting them again after lunch, as we’ll be playing the ‘match’ against those other people,” said Sheila, “so I guess I’d better not eat too much!” Easier said than done, I thought.

  Back in our little haven once more, all was pristine and tidy, with bedding and towels changed, fruit bowl replenished - Eduardo had done his work well as usual! We sat outside and Sheila ate some of the fruit - it would never have tempted me. All those different coloured round (apart from some that looked like curved yellow sausages), sweet-smelling, squashy things are not in the least bit attractive to we cats. Fishy or meaty-smelling objects are much more to our taste! I’ve never been able to understand why you humans like such funny sickly smells. Back at home in the little room, next to the big ki… kit… kitch… cooking room, where Sheila does her washing and I have my litter box and food bowls, whenever I use said box Sheila dives under the sink and brings out a horrible sickly-smelling can of stuff, which she sprays into the air to take away my perfectly natural and pleasant catty odour. I hate it, but she hates my home-grown smells just as badly. Well, as I’ve said before, there’s no accounting for tastes is there?

  Lunchtime had come around again, so Sheila went to get hers and left me in peace on the balcony with a few cat crunchies to savour. I looked out over the big C again - still there was nothing except blue, blue and more blue as far as the eye could see! A bit boring, I thought, so I returned to the sunny corner again. Sleep mode set, I was away!

  Sheila returned briefly, saying that she was off up to the grass again to play the match and when she got back she would take me to see one more sight I wouldn’t forget in a hurry! I wondered for a moment what this ship would come up with next to astound me, before I fell asleep again.

  Well, yes, I was astounded, and more than a little scared, as it turned out! When Sheila got back we went out and back up to the highest deck once more. It was heaving with people lying out in the sun or dipping themselves into the water pools. We rounded a corner and I heard a kind of roaring, splashing sound. I hung back. “Yes, I don’t think you will really like this much, Truffles,” she said, “but don’t worry, nothing will hurt you. I just wanted to show you; it’s so amazing to see this on a ship! We’ll just have a quick look. We won’t go too close, because I don’t want to get splashed anyway.” I was starting to get rather alarmed now. No way did I want to be splashed by some of the dreaded water! I could see a crowd of people all watching a large square water pool where the water was pouring down it in huge waves that were moving very fast. There were a couple of people on it standing up (or trying to!) on small wood planks and attempting to travel from one end of the pool to the other. The noise of the water spurting was horrendous. If I hadn’t been tabby in colour I would have definitely paled! Oh dear, I wasn’t keen on this. I applied my brakes and hid behind Sheila’s leg. “We won’t go any nearer,” she said, “but I just want to watch for a few minutes. There are some seats up there, where we could sit for a while.” However, on looking down at me trying not to quiver with fear and show myself up, she changed her mind, saying, “Oh dear, I didn’t realise it would be quite so frightening. I’m sorry. Don’t worry, we’re going.” She picked me up and cuddled me. I immediately felt safer.

  Sheila set off fairly fast in another direction and I kept up with her without a backward glance. Soon we came to an area where several man passengers were running to and fro, kicking a ball about, and next to them some more were throwing a smaller red one at one poor man who was trying to fend it off with a kind of wood plank. Passing more lines of sun chairs with people lying on them, we came to a place that looked like lots of small green areas, each connected by paths. Each green patch had a hole in it and people were trying to push small white balls into the holes using long sticks. It seemed good fun, and I think I would have enjoyed joining them and patting the balls into the holes, though I wouldn’t have needed a stick to do it – there’s nothing as good as a front paw! I glanced up at Sheila - maybe we could have a go?“Perhaps another time,” she said. We carried on past an area covered with black and white squares where a couple were pushing what looked like small dinner plates, again with long sticks. What’s with the sticks? I wondered. Can’t they do it with their paws? That would be much more fun. Further on, a group of people were throwing thick circles of rope at a short pole, trying to l… la… lass… get them over the top of the pole. None of them managed it, I noticed! Lastly we came to a table where two young man passengers were furiously patting a small white ball to and fro, not with sticks this time but with round things they held tight in their paws. That was quite exciting to watch, I thought, and I got myself ready to chase and catch the ball if they dropped it. Unfortunately they didn’t - pity!

  So after our tour of the sports deck, very soon we were back at the elevator bank again. By this time I had managed to pull myself together, following the scar
y moments by the rushing water pool. I didn’t want people to think I was a wimp. It is important for my ego (and I am told I have a big one since becoming a literary cat!) that in public I appear to be cool, calm and collected and certainly superior! Surprisingly, this time Sheila avoided going into an elevator and she walked me down a few sets of stairs before arriving at a room that was filled from floor to ceiling with books, rows and rows of them. I wonder if mine are here? I thought. As if reading my thoughts, Sheila said, “I’m just going to pick out a book to read. I should have brought some of yours with me - I could have put them out here for other people to read.” She laughed. “More importantly,” she went on, “they might have recommended them to their friends, who might go out and buy them!” Good idea, I thought.

  At the next level down we stopped by an equally large room where there were lots of people sitting down at tables playing more games - indoor games this time, with cards or boards, and they were shaking little spotty square white cubes out of small containers shaped like drinking vessels, but not made of glass (about the only things on this ship that weren’t made of glass!) Sheila stopped and watched for a while and then walked nearer to a table where a couple were playing a game using little bricks they had made into a wall and from which they were removing single bricks and - so it appeared to me - trying to make sets of three. The little bricks had pretty pictures on them. I remembered Sheila had a game like this - I was sure it had a foreign-sounding name, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember it. As she was watching, the man looked up. “Do you like mah-jong?” he asked. “Oh, yes,” replied Sheila. “My father lived in China many years ago and he brought home a beautiful antique set and we used to play it a lot, but I don’t nowadays, I’m afraid. I play it on my computer instead, though it’s not really a ‘proper’ game, just making up pairs really!” The man, who was rather flamboyant looking, sporting a handlebar moustache (for the uninitiated of you, a moustache means fur on your face!) said his name was David and he introduced Sheila to his wife, Irene. I took to them immediately - they both seemed very pleasant. Of course, they made the usual comments about my presence on board and Irene leant down and patted me. I purred at her, which made her smile. They chatted for a little while and agreed to meet up for a drink one evening, and then once more we were on our way.