Miaow There! Page 7

  Sheila called me from inside saying that my breakfast was ready. No views of birds or fishy ladies would stop me from my breakfast, so I nipped back in pretty sharpish. It was my own food Sheila had brought for my breakfasts, not the posh dinners I now decided that I could quite well become accustomed to on the ship (!) but give it to her, at least it wasn’t “own brand”, she had got the decent stuff! Cod and haddock with shrimp sauce this morning! After I’d finished, it was the usual visit to the litter igloo and whisker cleaning session whilst she finished the daily palaver of fiddling with her face and hair.

  “Right Misty” she said, “I’m off to breakfast now and then I’ll be ashore. So you be a good girl, sit outside and enjoy the sun. I’ll be back for a late lunch and then we can go out on the grass again and see what’s happening up there. Then I’ve got a ticket to go the ice show. You like skating!” And off she went smiling to herself. Everything she said had gone right over my head... well, she IS a lot taller than me, ha! ha! What did she mean by saying she was a shore? What’s a shore? I thought she was a person! And DO I like skating? I wasn’t certain what that meant either. Oh well, I guessed I’d find out eventually. I returned to the balcony and lay down in my corner in the sun. Shortly after she’d gone, Pedro appeared. Somehow he always seems to know when she has gone out so that he can come in and do his stateroom tasks without disturbing her. “Ello Mistee pusseecat” he smiled, stroking my head, “‘Ow are you today?” I nudged his hand, because I could see something in it, and sure enough he had a lovely prawn for me!. I purred at full volume and rubbed his ankles which seemed to please him. I was glad - he is such a nice man. I lay dozing comfortably as he carried out his morning duties, and after he’d left I fell properly asleep.

  Not for long though... I was suddenly awakened by the sound of screeching and there perched on the outer rail over the glass wall were four or five of the white sea birds, all squabbling amongst themselves. They didn’t look as if they’d noticed me in my corner. Good! I remained very still and kept my eyes peeled. Unlike the sea birds at Southampton, these ones’ wings were topped with black. Maybe they were nautical style magpies? You never know! Still they hadn’t noticed me as they seemed to be having an almighty argument between themselves. I wondered if I could take this chance of a lifetime and nab one. Well, it certainly wouldn’t do any harm to try... so keeping flat to the deck I slowly slunk forward. Still they continued with their rowdy screeching and now they were also pecking at each other. Now was my moment, so I launched myself up at the group hissing, growling and brandishing my claws, looking as fierce as I can (which is difficult because at heart I am a peaceable ladylike cat, not a fighting tom!) But, oh dear, I had misjudged the height of the glass wall and to my great humiliation I crashed into the top and slithered back down to fall in an untidy heap at the bottom. The birds all screeched in unison and in great confusion flapped up in the air, feathers flying everywhere, and soon were out of sight! Oh well, if nothing else I had ended their argument for them! But, dear readers, am I ever going to be able to catch a bird? I fear not. I had just missed out on the best opportunity ever! Well, I wasn’t going to let it upset my wonderful cruise so I would just have try to forget the incident. But as I stamped back across to my cushion, I was definitely not in the best of moods I can tell you! Well, sleep cures everything so that’s what I did next!

  Eventually Sheila returned to the stateroom carrying a large bag which she dropped down on the sofa before disappearing into the non bathroom from where I heard the horrendous flushing noise and the sound of her washing her paws. “Ah, that’s better!” she said and sat down on the sofa, leaning down and patting me. “Well, I’ve had a lovely morning Misty, I hope you’ve had a nice time too.” (I smiled grimly to myself) “I’ll just about be in time for lunch so I’ll quickly give you yours and then I’ll be off.“ I brightened up at the anticipation of lunch! “I’ve always loved Copenhagen” she continued, “but it is VERY expensive, so I had to rein in my spending a bit!” But I bet you still bought a teddy bear I thought. And, yes I was right, because she then brought two, thankfully small, teddies out of the bag! One had a red tee shirt on with a white heart saying Copenhagen on it, the other a white tee shirt with Denmark on it. All I could think was thank God she doesn’t make me wear a tee shirt with Misty or Cornwall on the front of it! She emptied the bag of a few other items, and then after putting the bears on the shelf with the others, gave me my lunchtime crunchy treats and went off for her lunch.

  After demolishing the treats, I returned to the balcony, now in a much better frame of mind. There were no birds in sight except for one large all black bird sitting on top of the fishy lady’s head. But I put all thoughts of birds out of my mind and instead wondered what we would be doing next on the ship. It did sound as if Sheila was going to take me out onto that nice patch of grass. That would be nice. I lay down and dozed...

  Sheila returned full of smiles. She’d obviously enjoyed her lunch too! She joined me on the balcony, sat down on the long chair and I perched on her knee purring. I got the feeling that if she were a cat, she’d be purring too. I can read her like a book, and as usual I was right! “Well Misty” she said, “at lunch I met up with two friends of mine, Mary and Eric, who I met on here last year. I didn’t know they were on this cruise so that was a nice surprise. I expect you’ll meet them sometime later. Their daughter has a lovely dog - a poodle - who is called Misty as well!” She chuckled.

  A dog? A dog? Called Misty? MY name given to a lowly DOG! I couldn’t believe it... and I thought I was the ONLY Misty! My tail twitched irritably. I think Sheila must have read my mind too for she cuddled me and said “Never mind Misty, don’t get prickly now, you are the only one for me!” After a few minutes of being petted and cuddled, my hurt feelings had recovered and when she said we would go on deck now, I jumped down and eagerly ran inside. She put on my nautical collar, clipped on the lead and we made our way to the elevator bank.

  As we stepped out on to the big grassy space, I felt much better... the sky was blue, the sun was smiling at us from on high and the grass looked lovely! I tugged at the lead but Sheila held on tightly. She sat down on one of the wicker chairs near to the bar, looping the lead round its leg, so I lay down just in front of her and had a luxurious rollover on the grass. Up came the young man with the truly big smile - everyone who worked on this ship seemed to be permanently smiling, but he had the biggest smile ever! “Hi Dev” said Sheila, “Do you know, I really fancy one of your Pussyfoot cocktails, you make them so delicious!” “Coming right up” he replied, giving me a pat, “and here’s a pussy with four feet!” He strolled away laughing. I wondered what a Pussyfoot was, surely not puréed cats paws! Ugh! No way, anyway Sheila wouldn’t eat or drink anything made of her favourite animal, the cat! I lay back but kept one eye open to see what Dev would bring. He was back in a few minutes carrying a tall glass with a pale orangey coloured liquid in it that looked reddish at the bottom, and with a straw and a sprig of leaves and cherries stuck on the top. Sheila immediately had a long pull on the straw. “Mmmm, lovely!” she said. They chatted for a few minutes before he went off again making drinks for the other people sitting around us. Really this was a very nice happy and relaxed place and everyone was enjoying themselves. Sheila idly chatted to the couple sitting alongside her, and the lady knelt down and gave me a lovely tummy rub! Bliss! I felt I could stay on this ship for ever... sorry Cornwall, no disrespect!

  Some while later, up we got and wandered over to the other side of the grass where I could see another group of people playing some sort of game that was being supervised by my shiny headed pal, Michael aka Mr Pumpkin! “Hi Sheila” he said, “Hi Misty”. “What on earth is this game called?” asked Sheila, “I’ve never seen it before.” “It’s called Blongo” he replied. We stood and watched as one of the players picked up two of those little white golf balls that I had played with earlier, but these two were tied together with a piece of ro
pe. In front of him was a frame with three poles and it seemed that the players had to throw the joined together balls at the frame and depending on which pole it wrapped itself around, you scored points accordingly! The man threw the balls at the frame and somehow the rope, and the balls, twisted around the centre pole. “Two points” said Michael, “Good play!”

  I thought this looked quite a good game, so the next time somebody aimed at the frame, I prepared myself to leap at it and try to catch the balls. Big mistake! As Sheila was watching and talking to Michael at the same time, so didn’t have her eye on me, I took my chance and tried to jerk the lead out of her hand. All this achieved was that I nearly strangled myself and the howl I gave put the player off his aim so the roped balls flew up in the air and crashed down onto a nearby table demolishing the drinks and glasses that were on it. Whoops! The lady sitting at the table then got very angry as some of the drink had splashed on to her leg - and the fact that everyone around was laughing, except for the man who threw the balls, didn’t help! While Michael calmed the lady down, Sheila dragged me over to apologise to both her and the man playing the game, and I humbly held my head and put on my best pathetic expression. Fortunately this worked and the lady then smiled and patted me and all she said was that accidents would happen and this would be something she could tell her friends about back home... a cat causing chaos on a ship! The man gave a wry grin, “Well,” he said, “I was losing anyway so now the game is a draw so the cat helped me in a way!” Laughs from the other people! Michael called Dev and he quickly cleared up the broken glasses and replaced the drinks, the game continued and everyone was happy! Apart from Sheila who sighed and said “That was naughty, Misty, you really mustn’t spoil other people’s games!” Well, I thought, maybe next time YOU could play a game with me on the grass, then I wouldn’t NEED to gatecrash other games! Strangely enough, as if she’d read my thoughts, she then said “We’ll have a game of fetch the ball when there’s not so many people around, now come on, it’s time to go to the ice show!” So, off we went!

  After another ride downwards in the elevator, the unseen lady told us we were at Deck Two and out we got to find a line of people that seemed to stretch both ahead and behind the elevator for ever! Well, this skating thing must be popular I thought! We joined the line but soon two big doors opened at the front of the line and we all moved forward quite quickly after that. Passing through the doors, suddenly I felt a chill in the air and was glad of my fur coat. Sheila found a seat about three rows from the front and sat down with me on her knee, and judging by the way some of the people sitting in front of us were pulling on sweaters, they felt chilly too! This place looked rather like the theatre to me except that in the centre was a large square that was white. The rows of seats were around three sides of this square. We waited a little while while the place filled up, Sheila having the usual conversation with the people each side of her about me, so I collected a few more pats! Then the lights dimmed, music started and the audience collectively looked towards the white square.

  Suddenly the square was filled with whirling figures in amazing sparkly and colourful outfits, all spinning and jumping and the mewsic (sorry, you say music!) was so lively it made everyone watching want to dance! NOW I knew what Sheila meant when she said I would like skating! On Winter Saturday nights - on the moving picture box she looks at - THAT’S where I’ve seen the same sort of figures! And the catchy music too - I like music and Sheila bobs me up and down in time to it when there’s a particular tune she likes. She calls this Cat Dancing! Over these past months her favourite has been a tune called ‘Get Lucky’ so I’ve listened to that so many times, and bounced so much I’ve never needed to go on a diet! In fact I like that tune too so I hoped they’d play it now during this show! (Sadly they didn’t!)

  The next hour or so was a constant stream of great music and amazing actions from the colourful skaters that had the audience clapping and cheering and at the end everyone stood up and the noise was deafening! Well, what an experience! I totally loved it! I miaowed along to the music as lots of the people were doing, and I could tell that everyone was really happy and enjoying themselves! As we left the place, everyone was saying how good it was! Sheila was telling the people next door that she had never been to an ice show on land, just on this ship, and it was something she’d not forget. Well, dear readers, I wouldn’t forget it either! Whatever next was going to happen on this mind boggling cruise ship experience!

  We went back the same way we’d been before, but at a snail’s pace as there were crowds of people milling around. So many people were waiting for the elevator that Sheila tugged on my lead and said we’d be quicker going up the stairs. Well, no effort for me - a few pants and puffs from her as we climbed up three floors - and arrived again by the glass bridge at the start of the shopping street. “Come on Misty” she said, “I’m going in to Ben and Jerry’s to get an ice cream. I’ll sit outside so you can have a lick too.” Mmmm, yummy... I’m up for that I thought. She picked out a coffee and pistachio flavour for herself, and a plain vanilla one for me. Pity they don’t make a fish flavour, but not to worry... vanilla is OK! She settled herself outside on a tall seat and put a cardboard dish underneath on the floor for me. Both of us then enjoyed a blissful few moments...

  I looked up to hear Sheila talking with her friends Mary and Eric who happened to be passing by. Mary leaned down and gave me a nice pat so I switched on my purr in stereo mode. She is a nice lady and loves animals, I can tell. They all agreed to meet for drinks (yes, those sickly smelling coloured cocks’ tails you all love!) in the Elite Members’ lounge in an hour or so, and after they’d gone on by, Sheila got up, chucked our now empty dishes into the bin and we made our way back to the stateroom.

  I returned to my favourite corner on the balcony whilst she spent the next half hour pondering on what to wear that evening, what bag and shoes to match up with it, and what appropriate sparkly bits etc. Phew, what a palaver, SO much easier to have just the one bespoke fitted fur catsuit that is suitable for all occasions just with a simple change of collar! But she seems to enjoy this fussing about what to wear and I know she prides herself that she never wears the same outfit twice on a ship - no wonder poor Tony nearly puts his back out carting her luggage about and loading it in and out of his taxi! Some people seem to manage with just a kittybag over their shoulders, Sheila can’t seem to manage with less than four cases just for fourteen days! Ridiculous!

  Eventually after having dozed off, I heard her approaching. I opened one eye. “Now then Misty”, she said, “Your dinner should be arriving any minute and then I’m off for my meeting with Mary and Eric and after that I will be going on to my own dinner and then I’m going to see the show as there’s a very good comedian on tonight. Waste of time you going, there’s nothing spectacular to watch but tomorrow, now that’s a different kettle of fish.” What on earth has a kettle of fish got to do with things I wondered, what’s she going on about now, and why would you put fish in a kettle anyway... to make fish tea? That would appeal to me but not to you lot I guess! Oh well, just another ambiguous (yes, a BIG word that I have only quite recently added to my vocabulary!) human expression that I couldn’t get my head around. “Tomorrow night” she continued, “is formal night and there is going to be a truly spectacular show which you will love! My friend, Peng Fei, will be performing in it and doing some amazing acrobatics. You’ll see! And I will be dining on the Captain’s table as he is also a friend of mine (Oooh, get you I thought!) so if you are lucky you might be able to meet him afterwards.” Blimey, it’s all going to happen tomorrow I told myself, just as well I can have a quiet night in now! I idly wondered how long it would take her to get ready for this momentous sounding evening tomorrow - she’d probably start getting ready after lunch!

  Sure enough, at that moment there was a knock at the door and a smiley faced young man arrived holding a tray with two little dishes on it that smelt very tasty indeed. I eagerl
y jumped up at him and he laughingly put them down on the balcony floor for me. “Smoked salmon nibbles followed by duck breast fillet” he said over his shoulder to Sheila as he left the room. “Your dinners are almost as good as mine, Misty” she said, “enjoy!” And believe you me, dear reader, I sure did enjoy!!!

  Sheila having departed, I went back to my comfortable doze in the last of the evening sun and was lost to the world until Pedro appeared for his evening rituals. “Ello Mistee” he said, “Another squeed for you tonight!” I gave him a grateful ankle rub, switching on the purr control, and enjoyed a few nice moments savouring the said “squeed” whilst he went around the stateroom whistling quietly to himself and leaving it in its usual pristine condition! I decided that when we got home, I would insist that Sheila steps up her own house cleaning standards to those on this ship. Although I have to admit she does keep the house very clean and always tidy, I can’t say that it literally ‘sparkles’ like this ship seems to! After Pedro had given me a nice tummy rub and lots of pats, he left to carry on his good work in the next door stateroom, so I nipped up on the bed and surveyed the latest animal that he had made out of the fluffy white rags. I wasn’t really certain exactly what it was... either a sea lion or a bulldog perhaps... but whatever, it was quite easy for me to reach underneath its tummy and have a good old claw stretch and scratch. I surveyed it afterwards, no she’d never notice it had been tampered with, particularly if she’d had several of those naughty cocks’ tails!