All at Sea with Truffles Page 7

  We continued our stroll and next we passed by a rather frightening - to me - place where lots of people were watching several pretty lady crew members, who seemed to be showing them how to make glass (yes - I was definitely beginning to get paranoid about seeing all the glass on this ship and I certainly didn’t want to watch it being made as well!) objects in many different colours. It was fiery and there were hissing noises that I didn’t like. They had long glass tubes in their mouths with hot, runny blobs on the end of them, and it looked as if they were blowing air down these tubes. Sheila walked on by pretty quickly, for which I was grateful. She realised that I would not like this particular place. I have to say that she is very conscientious about her duties as my carer and does perform these to a very high standard. It’s very rare that I have to chastise her, and after all the years we’ve been together she knows exactly how my mind works. I expect she will go on her own and watch it all at another time.

  Eventually we reached the entrance doors and wended our way to the elevators. Then it was back to the stateroom. Sheila opened up the balcony and I went out and sat in my sunny corner. “Well, that was a nice stroll to work off my big breakfast,” she said. “I think I’ll go and have a cup of coffee in that nice sophisticated café and gelateria on the upper shopping floor. I might have a mooch around the shops, too. You’ll be okay here, Truffles.” Mmmm... yes, I would - nothing like a peaceful doze in the sun. I turned round a couple of times and went into sleep mode.

  Sometime later I awoke and went to look out over the edge of the balcony again: C, nothing but C all around, wherever I looked. In one way it was frightening and intimidating to be surrounded by all that nasty water - a cat’s nightmare - and it looked hellishly deep, too, but on the other hand it was a pretty awesome sight. I wondered what my past pussy pals - Taro, Tansy, Lucky and Robbie - would have made of it. They would have been as baffled as I was, I expect. In our previous big garden we’d had a large pond, which could even have been described as a small lake depending on how you looked at it, but we weren’t overawed or frightened by it; in fact, we used to like it, as lots of fish lived in it and we enjoyed watching them from its banks. It would never have entered our heads to venture into the water, although I do remember that little Tansy (who was always in trouble!) fell into it a few times. Pretty scary! Shaking my head at it all, I went and had a drink of the stuff from the bowl Sheila had put out and lay back down again.

  A few minutes went by and then Sheila arrived back, carrying a paper bag from which she took out a sparkly evening handbag. Not another one, I thought! “This is nice, isn’t it Truffles,” she said. “I just couldn’t resist it.” She reached into the big cupboard and brought out a pair of her paw covers. “Just right,” she said.

  “I knew they’d match! Tonight is ‘formal night’, so I’ll have the chance to really dress up!” I wondered what a ‘formal night’ was, but she wasn’t forthcoming. Another mystery, I supposed, but whatever it was I now knew you had to look extra smart for it. We sat outside for a while and then Sheila gave me my lunchtime snack of crunchies and went off to have her own. I went back to sleep...

  Eventually Sheila returned and she joined me outside, where we sat companionably for a while basking in the warm sunshine. Sheila had said earlier that we would be seeing even hotter sun later on in our travels, so I was well looking forward to that! The hotter the better for me! “Right,” she said, “come on, we’ll go for another walk outside and I’ll show you something you’ll really like!” My curiosity was getting the better of me now - well, you do know how curious we cats are, don’t you? On with the lead and off we went.

  This time the unseen lady in the elevator announced a different deck from the one we’d walked around yesterday and it seemed even higher up! We started our promenade around the outside decking track and passed another water pool that was for human kittens (‘children’ is your formal word, but I always think of youngsters as ‘kittens’). There were lots of them playing and darting in and out of the water, and all around were large coloured balls, climbing frames, pool toys and more of those shooting water spouts. They looked to be having lots of fun but, as I said earlier, it would be a horrific place for any cat’s kitten to play in. A sandpit would be much more preferable! This ship obviously had every amenity you could think of, so I expect there was sandpit somewhere, too!

  We continued past a multitude of chairs with hundreds of people sitting on them and enjoying the sun. I must say, where we live in Cornwall, the sun had been a bit scarce recently, so I supposed everyone was making the most of it - not that I could believe they all came from Cornwall. I now knew of the place called Southampton, so perhaps everyone else lived there. On we walked, past another water pool (how many have they got on this ship? I wondered - not content with being surrounded by the stuff, they want bits of it inside, too!) Then we arrived at an open space with more chairs around it, and I gasped. What was this ahead - a mountain?

  Sheila chuckled. “I said I had a nice surprise for you,” she said.

  “Perhaps you can go climbing now!” The mountain had lots of small holes and ledges all the way up it and there were two man passengers wearing round hard-looking hats on their heads, with straps around their bodies attached to long ropes, who were attempting to climb up to the top of the thing - and not making a very good job of it either! Obviously neither of them had a clue what they were doing. We cats are the worldwide experts in that field (except for a small pr… pro… propor… a few that let the side down when they get stuck up trees or lamp posts). I could show them a thing or two, I thought. I looked expectantly at Sheila and then up towards the mountain. She turned to a fit-looking young male crew member who was standing nearby and looking curiously at me. After the usual explanation about my reason for being on the ship, he bent down and patted me. The way Sheila was looking at him, I reckoned she would have liked him to pat her, too! “Would you let Truffles have a climb?” she asked. “Well, madam,” he replied, “I’m not sure. Would a little cat like that be able to climb all the way up there? We wouldn’t want her to fall off and I don’t have any safety equipment that would fit a cat - we don’t have a lot of cats booking cruises with this line!” Sarcastic so-and-so, I thought. His attitude made me all the more determined to climb the mountain, which I knew would be easy- peasy for me. That would show him! After listening for a few moments longer to him going on about his friends the Elf and Safety people, I thought, blow it, and jerked the lead out of Sheila’s hand. “Hold on a minute, Truffles,” she cried. No way, I muttered to myself, and I ran over to the mountain.

  As I thought, it was a dead simple climb for any reasonably competent cat. There were so many of those small holes and ledges that I just sprang from one to another with hardly any effort. I soon passed the two struggling climbers, one of whom nearly lost his footing and had to hold on to the rope with both paws when he saw me going by. Fortunately, he didn’t fall - that would have made me feel a bit guilty! You humans just don’t have the landing skills that we cats have. “Hey, Bob,” he shouted to his friend, “am I hallucinating or what? Did a cat just pass us by?” His friend, dumbstruck, made no reply, but at least he didn’t miss his step! I smiled to myself, waved my tail at them and carried on, paw over paw, until I was right at the top, where there was a piece of cloth attached to a stick waving in the wind next to a large bell. At this height the wind was very strong indeed and I must admit that even I made sure my claws were firmly fixed into the mountain’s top. I looked around me - what a view! I could see over the whole length of the ship from here. It was even longer than I had imagined. And when I turned round, right behind me I could see a large chimney - bigger than the one we have on our house, MUCH bigger! There was a cloud of white stuff coming from the chimney, but when it got up towards the sky it disappeared into the distance. All around me the sky was blue and the C underneath nearly matched it. I could hardly see where one started and one ended. Although hat
ing water, and particularly C, it was a sight I would never forget as long as I lived. If I’d had any grand kittens it would have definitely been something to tell them. Unfortunately, after I was taken in by Sheila and family as a kitten myself they’d had some vital part removed from me, so no kittens were ever forthcoming!

  I looked down, way down, and could see the two climbers still far behind me, struggling onwards and upwards (it would be dark before they got up here, I reckoned!) and the forms of Sheila and the crew member at the bottom, their arms waving at me and their mouths opening and closing, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I expect they were calling me back down, but I decided I would stay on my perch for just a few more moments to savour this marvellous experience. I wouldn’t delay my descent for too long, however, as I didn’t want to get into hot water (pun!) again after the incident with the towels!

  So I soon wended my way back down, which proved just as easy as going up really. As I passed climber Bob and his companion, he called out, “Hello, cat, wanna tell us how it’s done?” Well, pal, I thought, just watch the expert and see what tips you can pick up! Finally at the bottom, I made my way back to Sheila. “Oh, Truffles, that was a bit naughty, rushing off like that,” she said. “All sorts of things could have happened - still, all’s well and I bet you enjoyed it, you little monkey!” The crew member laughed. “Well, I’ve seen it all now!” he said. After chatting to him for a few more minutes, Sheila tugged at the lead again and we walked away. “I knew you’d want to have a go,” she said “but now you’ve done it, that’s it. We were lucky that guy turned a blind eye and didn’t stop you going up, as I’m sure it’s probably not allowed!” Well, she needn’t have worried, because my greatest pleasure really is just dozing in the sun in a quiet corner - so the balcony was my ideal, and I had no great ambition to stay outside on top of a mountain for too long in a howling gale. But I was pleased to have had the experience and I would savour the memory for quite a while.

  THIS is how to do it!

  A bit further on, Sheila decided that she’d get an ice cream. She stopped in front of a machine, pressed a button and directed a heap of the stuff, all swirly, into a container. Then she repeated the process using a smaller container. “And a bit for you, Truffles,” she said. We moved away and she found an empty seat, sat down and started licking at her ice cream. I sat underneath and lapped mine up, too - yummy! When she’d finished, she stayed for a few more minutes chatting to the people beside her - the usual thing: how come a cat was with her? Then up we got and returned to the stateroom. I strolled out onto the balcony for a nap and she made herself a cup of the frothy stuff and switched on the moving-picture machine to watch the news. “I’ll sit here for a while,” she remarked, “because I should be getting my afternoon canapés delivered soon.” I wondered what canapés were - maybe some sort of treat? Shortly afterwards, there came a knock at the door and a smiley steward (not Eduardo) arrived with a plate covered with a silver dome. Sheila thanked him and brought the plate out to the balcony table. Then she fetched herself a glass of the bubbly and sat down, removing the cover from the plate and revealing several of the aforesaid canapés! Yes, I sniffed appreciatively, they definitely were treats! Some were smoked salmon wrapped around little green things, others were prawns on little biscuits, and there were meaty treats and cheesy treats - all sorts. Sheila demolished a couple whilst sipping the bubbly. “Well, this is the life,” she said, leaning back and half closing her eyes. “How the other half live!” I pawed her knee - couldn’t I have a treat, too? “Too rich for you, Truffles,” replied the mean so-and-so. I continued pawing her knee. “Oh, go on then,” she said. “Here’s one to try, but you won’t like what’s in the middle of it.” Why not? I wondered. She seemed to like it.

  She dropped a little smoked salmon bundle down to me. Yes, it was nice; and no, I didn’t like what was in the middle: as… asp… aspara… a green vegetable. Ugh, nice as the smoked salmon had been, I wouldn’t have another one if I was offered it! I returned to my sunny corner and Sheila continued to sip and nibble.

  When I woke up I saw that Sheila had disappeared into the bathroom and I could hear the sound of rushing water. When she emerged she rummaged through the cupboards and brought out some outer coverings, which she spread out on the bed. Oh yes, I thought, all her smartest stuff to wear on this ‘formal night’. You know, I’ve never understood just why she has so many of these outer coverings, because she’s always moaning about the washing and ironing of them. For me, a nice, well-fitting fur catsuit is suitable for all events and only needs a couple of lick- overs each day to keep it looking pristine - much more sensible!

  “Now, Truffles,” she said, “While I’m getting ready I think I’ll order you a nice dinner to have here.” She picked up a book that I’d noticed lying on the side, scanned through the pages and then went to the talking machine that was beside the bed and pressed a button. “Yes, I want to order some food - the poached salmon cutlet would be nice. Thank you.” Yes, I thought, it most certainly would be nice.

  Sheila had changed into her smart outfit and was just about to start fiddling about with her head fur when there was a knock at the door and a voice called, “Room service”. “That was quick,” said Sheila as she opened the door. The smiling steward who had delivered the canapés earlier came in, carrying a tray on which there was a covered plate. My nose twitched, as I could detect a rather delightful aroma coming from it. He set it down on the table and left, wishing Sheila “bon appetite”, whatever that meant. Sheila took off the cover and - oh, heaven - I saw a lovely, thick pink piece of salmon surrounded by a creamy sauce that, tomy sharp nose, smelt like prawn and cheese. I stood up on my back legs to reach the plate, but Sheila pushed me off. “Hang on a minute,” she said. “Wait till I put it in your own bowl.” “Hurry up then,” I urged. Soon the transfer had been made and I was wolfing down the lovely salmon. If the food on this ship was going to be as good as this all the time, I would certainly be putting on extra weight, just like the rest of the passengers! I would become cat cargo! A few minutes later, re… rep… reple… full up, I settled down to my ritual after-dinner whisker wash.

  Meanwhile, Sheila had been getting herself all dressed up and eventually, after at least another hour had gone by, I reckoned she seemed fairly satisfied with the final result. Well, she did look smart, I must say. The new bag she’d bought on the ship finished off her ensemble a treat. She was sparkling from top to toe! I just hoped the ‘formal night’ would prove to be all she had expected and that her dinner was as scrumptious as mine had been. I didn’t think she would be choosing salmon, as for some odd reason she doesn’t really like fish, but I’ve seen her eat prawns and lobster and crab, so I do know she likes them. She stroked me, glanced around the stateroom to check that all was tidy and then she left, saying when she got back later she would take me out for a walkabout again and maybe we’d go down to the casino, where perhaps I would bring her some luck! I wondered what a casino was and why she thought she’d need luck to go into it. Well, as I told you earlier, cats have always been supposed to be lucky, so yes, I hoped I would bring her luck. I retired to bed again and dozed, thinking of what a good day it had been and reflecting on all the new and interesting things I’d seen.

  Later on I was awakened by Eduardo on his evening rounds. “‘Ello, Trufools,” he said, patting me. I purred back at him, and, although initially my game plan had been to be nice to him so that he would continue to bring me treats, it was no hardship purring and rubbing around his legs, as he was such a nice person anyway. I looked forward to seeing him, treat or no treat. However, in the event I wasn’t disappointed, as he produced a few chopped pieces of grilled steak - and they were rather tasty, I can tell you! He busied himself around the stateroom and bathroom as usual. Pity Sheila is not so diligent in her household chores. She doesn’t change all the sheets and towels every single day like he does. When he’d left, I noticed that his towelling
creature this time was an elephant. Rather clever, I thought - Sheila will like that one! I went back to my bed...

  Sheila came back much later than on the previous night. I wondered where she’d been. As if she’d read my thoughts, she said, “Phew, what a marvellous dinner that was and then I went to the theatre after and the show was terrific - fabulous costumes, singing and dancing.” Theatre, show, costumes? New words to me. I looked at her. “You won’t know what I’m talking about, Truffles.” she said. Try me. I thought. “A theatre is a place where lots of people go to watch a show, which is when other people dance and sing and do things they think will make the people watching happy and entertained. They wear colourful clothes, which they call costumes, and it all looks very exciting for the people watching; the group of people watching in a theatre are known as an audience. Don’t bother about it, Truffles, you won’t understand!” She laughed. Well, actually I did understand - I am much cleverer at fathoming out your human language than she thinks. Yes, I do get confused, because whilst we cats have one miaow sound for one thing and one for another and that never changes, in your speak several words often mean the same thing and just one word can mean several different things! I realise that what I’ve always called your ‘outer coverings’ are, in fact, known as clothes, but I don’t like the word particularly, so that’s why they will always be ‘outer coverings’ to me as a cat. Costume was obviously another word describing clothes, so that was something else to add to my ever-growing vocabulary! This trip was proving educational as well as enjoyable! What would be coming up next? I wondered.